Eclectically Yours,

Amazing Comments, How Sweet The Sound!

Wow. I just want to thank everyone for their comments on my "TIC" post, below. I was just blowing off steam, ranting some angst, shouting into the void, and I got some great encouragement. I don't really have time for a Real Life co-op or homeschool support group, so this about does it for me. I'm going to share some of the comments up close and personal because they may help you,too, in your eclectic/unschooling/classical/Charlotte Mason/TJEd/Waldorf/Unit Study schooling angst. And since I couldn't reply to everyone individually I'll do so here.

Kim at relaxed homeskool had this to say:

I'd rather om than tic, but a normal day of homeschooling for us usually involves both! I'm sure you'll find the balance between schoolyness and unschooldom soon. It only took me 7 years!

How cool is that? Seven years! There is hope for me! Kim seems to have some pretty well adjusted kids,(altho they seem to be going through a dangerous 'ripped shirt' phase) so I"m gonna take her word for it.

Elle from thislittlepiggy says:

It's in the air! I'm wearing the covers off of several curriculum guides! I have everything nailed down except for reading and math....I'm too uptight to be an unschooler. Consuming large quantities of Girl Scout Cookies.

Hopefully she's saving some Thin Mints for me. And see, this whole curriculum thing is catching. By the way,  Elle is having a hard time on her new blog getting the header right. If anyone can help, head on over.(get it, "head" on over??!!) Her new blog has, as the old one, a pretty cool theme. She's a themey gal. I can never think of good themes...but I digress...

Elle and Lorna seem to have something intrinsic in common:(underline/italics my own)

I am on the same road searching for inspiring yet rigorous texts for science for a seventh grader. I have been munching many chocolate bars over the terrible text books for English children my daughter's age. Although, as I threw yet more aside for the charity shop, dh is right when he says 'Did your parents even look at your school text books for science?'.

Elle, I think Lorna's chocolate is better. She's in Denmark. Which means she's closer to Switzerland. Which means superior chocolate. Don't you think she should send us some? Just to get us through this whole curriculum thing? Huh, dontcha?

And speaking of husbands, Tara also has a supportive guy.

Don't supportive hubbies make homeschooling easier??
But, as for curriculum choices, my mantra is follow the child's interests and then follow your own. If you're jazzed about a topic, it rubs off- usually.
My go-to guides are Rainbow Resource - they have an online site and I use Rebbeca Rupp's book- Home Learning Year By Year.
It gives you an outline for curriculum, Preschool through High School. The recommendations include book sources, online sites and software and while the subject matter is ambitious, I have found it to be very helpful. Good Luck!!

Tara is always doing interesting things with her son. Go check out her blog for some really great ideas for art projects. And if you've never seen Rainbow Resource, if you are new to this gig, then check it out! I love ordering from there, great company to work with and they have EVERYTHING. I kid you not. The GRAND MAMA of resources. Unless you count Doc.But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Here's what Mommylion has to say:

"And I'm getting panicky that I'm not doing enough, and panicky I'm doing too much."
This is me on a chocolate day too.

Is anyone else seeing a THEME here???

Aren't middle school years supposed to cause tics? I know my stepson's caused some and he was in public school....

Oh, good, oh good this is supposed to happen!

You will do fine. It sounds like your daugher is very self motivated with so much already. As her reading and writing evolve she will dive headfirst into new interests that those skills unlock for her as well.

Have you ever checked out Doc's resources? I love her whole take on scheduling via meeting goals verses day to day scheduling. It is a way to get it all done, but in relaxed time frame.

Mommylion mentioned something that I have been thinking about a lot lately, too. What with Ms. D's eye issues I think Ms. D's interests and development educationally have been on hold. I am hoping it's as Mommylion says that "the skills will unlock." And maybe that will help a lot of the frustration on my part. Then everything will be sweetness and light, roses and ponies, and I'll quit eating chocolate.

And back to Doc's resources. For those of you who have only scratched the surface of homeschooling blogs and homeschooling in general, let me show you Doc's Downloads and Lesson Planning and Secular Suppliers. She has scads of experience and is kindly sharing it all. It's been awhile since I've perused her resources. Ms. D is at another level so I need to peruse with fresh eyes.

Here are some great suggestions by Heather at An Untraditional Home:

Rosetta Stone has Greek--is she interested in learning Greek or did you decide she needed to learn it--good luck with that if she isn't interested.

As for history--read some good books aloud together, for creative writing get some story/poetry starter cards and encourage her to try finishing the stories (my mom and I both taught middle school in public school and that and learning to proofread and rewrite were the crux of it.) Pick up some science experiment books or kits and do them together--figure out what she is interested in and run with it. For logic--grab some logic problem books to start and work from there.

And I especially took note of this last part:

Usually I don't try to give that sort of advice but that is what my mom and I both did when teaching public school other than the designated curriculum stuff that pretty much did the same thing.

Heathers looked at school from both side and still somehow...wait..where was I?  I always find it very interesting when someone has a view from both sides of the schooling thing.We've dabbled in Greek. I don't think it is for us, frankly. However, we will be taking ASL lessons. (More on that in my Weakly Update on Friday!) Meanwhile, I did find a great science experiment book from Eyewitness that I really like. It could be tailored to various ages. And I love Science in a Nutshell. I guess I can't seem to get away from the fact that I "should" be doing science in a certain order, that I will be missing some key element if I don't cover, Life, Biology, Chemistry, Physics in an orderly, methodical, dare I say scientific(?) way.

But here is another  thought from a former public school teacher, Laura, at Wistful Wanderlust.

Question - is she happy? 

I taught public school and the kids who succeeded were the kids who had supportive caring parents. It had less to do with smarts than good nurturing. Every time.

If your daughter is happy, then she's going to be engaged and learning all the time. That's the measuring stick we use. And so far, it works!

Laura, thanks for taking time off from being a FARM OWNER to come and comment!

Urban Mom leaves me some ego boosting encouragment too:

Don't be hard on yourself. The fact that you're an involved, interested parent is taking you (and Ms. D.) FAR! So don't worry too much. I very highly doubt that you'll do any damage, and that you'll actually do LOTS of good for her. It seems like this whole process is an organic, every-changing/growing process. You'll both be great!

Danielle, a first time commenter, left me the following:

Thank you for making me feel better as I begin this new journey.;

Thanks, Danielle. Just stick around here for "How NOT to Calmly and Without Angst, Homeschool: For Beginners"

I think the new homeschoolers come here to make themselves feel better, as well they should. Let my experiences be a lesson to you. This from my very favorite person in Belgium (shhhh, she's the only person I know in Belgium...)

I feel your pain. We're just starting our homeschooling journey, and the big curriculum choices are far in the future, but I'm already fretting those details. I want the breadth and depth of something akin to WTM, yet I want it to be as spontaneous and child-led as possible. We also are hoping to avoid textbooks at all cost.

And last, but not least, also first time commenter,Mariah. (What a beautiful name, so close to my own...did you ever hear how I got my name??)

That "I'm a bad homeschooler" slump is killer. Don't let it get hold of you. Put the om in -- very funny and true, true. Your girl is so ENGAGED! Writing songs and a play. And choosing WWII. I don't think you could keep her from learning if you tried.

Mariah's so right. I couldn't keep Ms. D from learning if I tried. And I have tried. All that blogging, all those getting involved in a good book while she fends for herself hours, all those soaps and bon-bons. All that sluffing off. She is insistent on learning despite it all! John Holt was so right.

"Children do not need to be made to learn to be better, told what to do or shown how. If they are given access to enough of the world, they will see clearly enough what things are truly important to themselves and to others, and they will make for themselves a better path into that world then anyone else could make for them"

So, I'm feeling pretty good for now. I'm still not miraculously an unschooler, but I've calmed myself a bit. I'm more than sure I will once again be 'angsting' all over the blog when it comes to my child's education. Which is partly what this blog is all about. Meanwhile, shall we break out the chocolate?

OT Visit

We've just got back from Ms. D's OT visit. I'm a bit shaky, a bit emotional without really being able to  pin point why.

Ms. D had all sorts of tests. Of course, they didn't seem like tests. They seemed like games. The ones she wasn't so hot in had to do with balance and coordination. She can't really do jumping jacks or any cross coordination type things very well. Very difficult. Balance is an issue. The OT, Marissa, was very thorough I felt. She asked a lot of questions about Ms. D's original issues with walking/crawling and so forth. Did you know how important that whole crawling thing is for babies? It teaches patterns in the brain. Patterns they need later. Marissa was surprised that our PT that helped Ms. D with her walking issues didn't go back and really try to teach Ms D those patterns before teaching her to walk. You know, that really goes to show a person really really needs to research. We were just thrilled at the time that Ms. D was walking! Who knew there was more to it? I feel like we should of. Ah, the parental "blame game". At any rate, Marissa also explained to us how the eyes and  motor skills work together. I asked once again why this type of thing wasn't "caught" before. Marissa explained that the whole developmental optometry in connection with motor skills thingy (Marissa doesn't say "thingy", but I do) is rather a newer study and the surface is only just being scratched. 

I knew that Ms. D was behind physically. I knew she had some sensory issues. But really, they weren't getting in the way of her life to any large extent. So she doesn't ride a bike yet. Someday. So she isn't as active as other kids. It would come. She's just behind. As long as I saw some progress I was okay. And I always saw progress. Not every kid has to be at "grade level" or "developmental level", right? Her life wouldn't be ruined, right? And, while I figured it was a separate issue, the reading aspect concerned me, but her vision was 20/20 and reading has nothing to do with physical issues. I would continue to find ways of working with her and keeping her progress in a forward motion. But there was a inner sense of bafflement. Was I doing enough? It appeared so. The doctor's thought so.

And then I figured out quite by chance that the two issues were very likely connected. Do you know how close I came to NOT figuring that out?? I would've NEVER have figured out Ms. D's convergence insufficiency issue if it wasn't for the online forum I visit. In particular when someone posted their fear with their childs reading. I happened to read it. Someone else happened to post, and it happened to make me think and act. And now we possibly have an answer to Ms. D's reading issues. And even if she never eats up books like a crazy person we will know we've done what we can.

In addition, on another homeschooling forum I entered the Special Needs section. I never go there, and, feeling silly because these parents are dealing with HUGE issues in their children, I posted Ms. D's convergence insufficiency issues. And got some incredible advice. Helpful suggestions. And great information. I happened to add some information about Ms. D's early proprioception/Sensory Integration issues. Someone happened to reply that I should look into that further and what to look for. In particular an OT who specializes in Sensory Processing Disorder. They didn't have to post that extra information. But they did.

And I think this is were I get emotional. I almost didn't figure this out. I didn't realize how badly I needed to figure out what was really wrong. I thought we'd just never really have an answer...that it would always be vague. That we'd done what we could. We just compensated. Now I realize we don't need to just compensate. We can help her. And I'm really, really, happy. And really, really, thankful. I'm happy that even if she never LOVES reading, she'll have a chance to get those eyes corrected. And even if she never really LOVES to ride a bike, she's going to actually be able to do it some day. She's got the options now. She can take them if she wants.

So how many kids are walking around without options? I'm told by several specialists that it is highly unlikely a public school situation would've caught the convergence insufficiency. She would've just had reading problems. Learning disabilities. Or she would just be lazy. Or not trying hard enough. Not concentrating. I'm also told today by the OT that if Ms. D's problems hadn't been diagnosed this early it is unlikely a lot of help could be given. (Her opinion) So what if I hadn't asked questions? What if Ms. D just thought she was clumsy? Or uncoordinated? Or just not good at physical stuff? Yes, I know, people walk through life just like that all the time and they are fine.  Aren't they? What if they didn't have to walk through life like that? What if they got answers, too? And, I think, this is where I get a bit emotional, too. What if's.

Lt. Dan Goes To The Eye Doctor

                                                         

Ms. D has always been kind of a mystery. Even when I was pregnant with her and she refused all efforts medical and alternative to budge from her breach position. I knew at that point this child was not going to fit neatly into a category of any type.

By the time she was "supposed" to start to walk she was scooting on her butt. You've all seen Lt. Dan from Forest Gump? How he "scoots" to get around?

That's what we called her. Lt. Dan. She got where she wanted to go and was happy doing so. But by 13 mos she wasn't pulling herself up onto anything. She was terribly content and not frustrated at all so there were no real big warning signs. And, as parents, we aren't the type to really be alarmists. We're more "she'll do it in her own time" kind of people, instead of the "my gosh does she have a label?" people. But by the time she was 15 months we had taken her to a round of Doctors. They were just as baffled, frankly. But in the end they came up with a vague kind of proprioception/sensory integration issues. I would read some of the issues kids with SID had and well, parts of them described Ms. D, but nothing like the difficulties these kids and parents went through. Ms. D's doctors couldn't even quite   label Ms D in the "dysfunction" category 'cause she wasn't that bad. So she had therapy for about 8 months and was walking before we knew it.  It's interesting because I can still see, as the doctors said "not a red flag, but more pink" in her physical activities, her picky eating, her sense of balance and so on. She's not as active because she truly doesn't seem to know "where" she is in her space. But I digress...

Fast forward to her reading delay. Hey, she's not interested right now I said when she was ages 5-7 and that's okay. That's the luxury of homeschooling/unschooling. No push. She's into other things. I read about delayed reading and academics and it makes me feel like that really describes Ms. D. Totally. She didn't have vision/reading issues. She doesn't squint. She doesn't have headaches, her vision is perfect 20/20 so I can't imagine there is a problem. Her first optometrist appointment when she was seven was fine. In fact, the obnoxious doctor said not to bring her back for two years. Then I read something by Val on a particular forum that I visit. Val was responding to someone who was concerned about her daughter's reading. Val mentioned trying to find a developmental optometrist. Val has one million kids and a lot of experience, so I tend to listen when she talks. Something about what she said clicked with me and I thought it might be good to look into. I had that bit of homeschooling mom doubt that perhaps because we don't go to public school something was getting missed. Despite the fact we've  visited the optometrist. Still, I almost didn't' make the appointment. Except David mentioned how if he reads regularly he can be a fast reader. But by and large he's a slower reader. Has to go over his words a few times. That made me think perhaps there is something hereditary that Ms. D may have picked up when it comes to tracking/teaming.

So I called aforementioned obnoxious optometrist. Gee, they don't know of a developmental optometrist in the whole state of Maine. That was too bad for my concerns, now wasn't it?  What is more they can't find my daughters records. I did what they could've done and googled. Except they would've looked helpful and intelligent in doing so. Instead they didn't. And I won't be going back. Oh, did my irritation at them just get in the way of this post? Sorry. By googling I found a developmental optometrist about an hour away and made the appointment. We went yesterday. And what follows is what we found out.

Ms. D has 20/20 vision. She has none of the signs of any problems. Until a few tests determined that Ms. D's eyes aren't working to well as a team. When it comes to things like reading especially. In fact, the kind Doctor showed me how if you took a pencil and tried to make Ms. D go cross eyed, one eye would wander away, not cooperating in following the pencil with the other eye. Kind of like this:

Yet Ms. D doesn't seem to have a lot of eye strain. She doesn't seem to be fatigued or tired after a particularly intense day of school. So who knew? After a few more tests the doctor said that Ms. D's eyes were not working as they should by HALF. By half. By half?? I couldn't believe it?? Where were the signs of this problem? A pamphlet I was given lists about five hundred million things to watch for like red yes, tearing eyes, crusty eyes, headaches, holds books to close, tilting head when reading, orients drawings on the page differently (what is different?? Isn't that creativity?) I couldn't find much that described her (surprise!) except these few: reverses letters when writing or copying, short attention span when reading, poorly spaced writing, and writes horizontally in middle of page. Out of five hundred million things to watch for, she has "sorta" four things. And that's just "sorta/sometimes" not always. And yet, the diagnosis was Convergence Insufficiency. Which is very common I'm told.  Was there any way I was supposed to catch this? Would've public school caught this? I'm not so certain. Because check out what this woman wrote to Dear Abbey, or Dear Pauline or whoever she is now...Click HERE for article. Ms. D is, not in the least, having these extreme problems as this woman who wrote Abbey/Anne/Whoever. Perhaps a school would've caught it. Perhaps not. Maybe she'd just be "slow" or LD.

The great and wonderful news is this: It's really easy to correct. Ms. D will need about 12 weeks of vision therapy. It's like therapy for the eyes. She may need more than 12 weeks but the Doctor didn't think so. The Doctor would like to do a few more tests to round out the findings and make sure there isn't anything else going on in addition to the Convergence Insufficiency. When checking in with Val again on aforementioned forum she also mentioned that we shouldn't necessarily expect major results right away, but that the differences would show a bit later. With Val's kids their writing didn't take off until almost a year after therapy. A few others chimed in to say how vision therapy totally changed there kids learning. There are some other wonderful success stories here.

So I am happy, happy, happy to find that there is actually something that could help Ms. D and her reading/studying skills. I was never that shaken up that she was behind. I've always seen progress. Even slow progress and that is what counted. The biggest flag to me was that I really have to keep with her reading/spelling writing or we'd loose it all. It seems once she learned words she struggled to retain them. But only with reading. If we were learning in other ways, say verbally, her powers of memory and retention are HUGE. Almost abnormally huge. She can remember and regurgitate most anything. Not only regurgitate, but she can come up with conclusions, inferences and discussions based on that learning. And her reading comprehension is stellar too. So something wasn't quite working with the reading, but what? Just a delay or something more? That is the ONLY clue I had that something may not be quite right. And really, how vague is that??

So I'm thrilled to find something that can help her and also feeling a bit like a bad mom. Which is typical for parents, is it not? And what is in the future for our little growing Lt. Dan? What other vague yet concerning issue will she come up with?

Meanwhile, the hereditary thing? Yup, said the doctor.   
Sounds like your husband may have similar issues.

Addendum: Because not everyone chooses to look at comments I am going to add this particular comment to the post, in hopes that it may help someone. I also think  Dominick agrees with me, although he didn't exactly come out and say so...you know, in so many words...that my first optometrist was indeed an idiot not so sharp on the uptake of my daughters eye health when a) not checking for this condition in Ms. D earlier and b) not being able to find a developmental optometrist in Maine. Again, I would hate to put words in Dominicks mouth, and disparage his fellow optometrists, but a man who sings tenor certainly must agree with me. 

There are developmental optometrists all over the world. Go to http://www.covd.org for more info. Also for up to date information on kids vision check out http://mainosmemos.blogspot.com.

I'm a Professor at the Illinois College of Optometry http://www.ico.edu and in private practice at http://www.nw.optometry.net..both URLs along with my blog offers lots of info...

Dominick

Posted by: Dominick M. Maino, OD,MEd, FAAO, FCOVD-A | February 26, 2008 at 10:50 PM

 

Creative Stupor or Semi Serious Post

As I mentioned in my previous post that I'm creatively a sycophant. I mean that in a good way. Other creative people inspire me. Isn't that what art is supposed to do? Maybe I appreciate the art and creativity of others' more than I actually am able to create myself. Perhaps that is why all the creativity that has surrounded me lately leaves me in a stupor. I've really had the urge to DO something creatively but I'm finding a hard time landing on something that isn't "borrowed" from someone else.

I've always been very fortunate to be surrounded by creative people. My grandmothers on both sides enjoy writing and can twist and exaggerate a fine tale. (My paternal Grandmother and her sister kept a running joke via post passing the 'bull' back and forth amusing each other and others for months) My cousin Rebekkah has had so many creative endevours the family feels she should sign "Inc." at the end of her name. My cousin Rachel's all black bedroom back in the early 90's totally pre dated the Goth era. My family played piano and various instruments. Debate was often considered a creative art form. The list goes on: Nona paints, Jeanenne comes up with great garden art that makes Martha Stewart jealous, Carla is linguistically multi dexterous, my sister in law Anna is constantly creating interesting hand made items. My mother is knitting. My husband paints and writes. His side of the family is hugely creative.

Living in Maine has been incredibly inspiring. From the beauty in nature that surrounds me to the myriads of galleries and art shops. We have many friends, here with creative instincts. Photographers, jewelry makers, glass makers, collage artists, musicians...the list goes on....

Lately, there has been great creativity and talk of creativity floating around the blogosphere that I find at once stimulating and intimidating. There is Project Spectrum, and Project 365 for example. There are individual blogs like SouleMama and tiennie knits, the cooking of Pioneer Woman, and the crafty ideas of not martha, and whip up. And don't even get me started on Etsy. The world has probably known about Etsy for awhile, but I just discovered it and drooled all over my keyboard.That's not even getting into all the creativity individuals are cooking up in their own lives. Just in the homeschooling community alone their are a million and one different ideas of how to live the creative family life. Where does that leave me? With my hands itching to do something but unsure of what.

Part of the problem may be my personality. I once did one of those personality quizzes that I have such a love/hate relationship with. (Someone telling me who I am?!! No thanks!) It told me, and rightly so, that I was the type that does not/can not be interrupted during a task. That I have a hard time getting back on track after having my attention diverted. Ah. Well, that explains the last 10 years, (incidentally, the same age as my daughter,) that I have been in a creative stupor. In the first few years of marriage, before Ms. D came along, I found huge delight and inspiration in bead work. Mostly making jewelry. It was creatively rewarding and fun. I tend to like immediate results with improvement over time, and jewelry making fit the bill. I loved working with lots of color and big, bold statements. When Ms. D came a long I put the work away from her little hands.

As Ms. D has gotten older and able to delve into her own projects and passions for large amounts of time, I have been watching her. She is so intensely focused on creativity. Focused on the delight of her stories and illustrations. Not because she is going to sell it. Not because the creativity is going to get her recognition, but for the sheer delight of enjoying the act of creating. In her post at Handmade Homeschool, Prairiepoppins mentions her daughters instinctive knowledge that she is an artist. I remember once explaining to Ms. D that she should go to school to be an illustrator. She asked why when she was already illustrating. Kids seem to know instinctively that they are artists, that they should create. Just for fun. Without any reward except self expression. Watching Ms. D has shown me that it might not be such a bad idea.

David has struggled on and off with the creativity urge. Sometimes he wants to create so BIG that he forgets to stop and just enjoy the little pieces of creativity. Ms. D and I had a girls' night out the other night. When we got home I noticed a new song laying on the desk. He hasn't written music for quite awhile. "Real life" seems to keep getting in the way. When I asked him about it he said "I realized that I don't need to record music, or even play it for other people, but that if I don't write music, then I'm just not me." He seems to have learned the lesson Ms. D has already got down. Just create, just enjoy.

So I'm trying not to be intimidated. I'm trying to look around and see what inspires me. Last year I took my passion for books a step further and delved into altering books. (check out this great gallery) Lately, I've rediscovered my love for vernacular photography. I used to collect a lot of old miscellaneous photos when I was in high school, but I've been thinking more about renewing the collection and what exactly to DO with it. Perhaps melding vernacular photography with altering books. Perhaps not. Maybe I'll go back to jewelry making. Then again, blogging has renewed my ever present urge to write. I've started carrying a notebook with me everywhere, something I haven't done in a long, long, very long time. Maybe, like my grandma's, I'll just keep writing.